My Inner Child

My Flea Market Find -  A Happy Memory

My Flea Market Find

At a recent flea market trip, I stumbled upon a Popples stuffed animal. I used to have one as a kid, a small yellow one, with pink hair.

It was my favorite toy.

And I wanted it now.

Even as an adult, the memory of loving this stuffed animal, was overwhelming. I don’t remember the way that I played with it: if I carried it around or if I simply curled my body around it as I slept. I don’t even remember the cartoon. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is the feeling of nostalgia that it gave me. What matters is the desire to feel what I did as a child, to be reminded of the innocence I once had, before I was jaded by too many demands, pressures, and responsibilities.

Once I got the Popple home (because of course, we bought it), I washed it. The poor thing was ratty, its hair knotted, fur dingy, a couple of stains on the ears: it had been loved. After it was dry, I stood in the bathroom, unknotting its couple of strands of fur with my fingers and then carefully brushed the rest of the knots, trying not to pull too much of its synthetic hair out. When I was done, it looked like it had been shocked with a current of electricity.

My own hair is really short, and requires no products, but I do keep a thing of mousse around for emergencies. Unfortunately, this container is almost 7 years old and the top has came off, which makes it difficult to get any product out. But I decided to try to use this – I couldn’t leave the poor Popple looking like a mess.

After spending almost half an hour smoothing and trying to finger curl the fur, I realized that although this Popple isn’t the same one from my childhood, I still felt the same need to take care of it and love it the way that I used to.

I would make this Popple presentable.

It represents a piece of my childhood that I thought was long gone. It represents a time when I needed less to be happy. A time when it was not only acceptable but encouraged for me to get lost in my imagination. A time when I was allowed to play without feeling self-conscious or like I was going to be judged.

It represented a freedom of self.

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I wish I could say that I know the secret of getting this feeling back. But I don’t. All I can do is recognize it and try to hold on to it for as long as possible. I can take joy in knowing that although my childhood is long gone, that somewhere inside of me is a child waiting to come out and play. The question is, will I let it?

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Please, feel free to share: What was your favorite toy and how did it make you feel?

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7 thoughts on “My Inner Child

      • I was a tiny adult. I didn’t play with kids my age or really play with toys. I did love reading about Curious George and Clifford the big red dog. I love performing and writing. I’m working on a CD and I post songs I sing almost every day. I have an audition for a band on the 17th. Very nervous but God will get me through it.

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      • Coincidentally, I am also a tiny adult. I come in at 4’8″ and people often remark about my height and how young I look.

        I LOVE reading, always have. I wish I could sing but that’s one gift I’ve not been granted. In the end, I’m okay with that. I know that I’ve been given plenty. I hope your audition went well!

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s cool. I’m 4’10. I don’t care what anybody but God thinks. You can’t make everyone happy. I tell them to take a hike if they don’t like me. In other words of course. I have never lived up to status quo and refuse to. Reading is fun! I could be happy with a book all day. :-). Thank you. It didn’t work out. I was told when God closes one door He opens a window, so I will look forward to whatever journey He has planned next. I will keep you in my prayers and I appreciate the support. God bless you!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m sorry the audition didn’t go as you’d hoped. Whatever you do, keep chasing your dreams. No matter how difficult, time consuming, soul hurting, savings destroying, it may be. We all have a dream, and I believe that if more people chased their dreams, then the world would be a better place. Less people would be worried about fitting in with the status quo if we allowed not only others, but ourselves, to be our inner selves. 🙂

    Personally, I know how difficult it can be. But, we can’t let it stop us. Good luck getting that window open!

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  2. Pingback: Popples are getting their own original Netflix series | The geekout-let

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